I don’t know why I all of a sudden have started freaking out. I mean, I literally spent all weekend pondering…
I don’t know if I am ready to be a foster mom. I don’t know how selfish I really am. I don’t know how giving I really am.
I have not yet heard back from DSHS on my background check. But I start wondering if I have TOO much of a history financially that might hurt me. I don’t even know if they look at that. I filed bankruptcy. Yes. I am an awful person…But it was either I did that or I lost everything.
And now I am wondering on that and some other things in the past that might keep me from being a foster mom.
And I am wondering if that wouldn’t be for the best…being rejected.
I am in my very early 30’s…so while my biological clock is ticking in a sense, I don’t know if I have a desire to ever be pregnant. But I might. But I don’t know.
SO confused. I am not in a relationship with anyone currently, so it’s not like I am just contemplating “our life together as a family”.
I guess I want to be a mom, but not sure if I want to be OWNED by the state as a foster parent.
I am really trying the Let Go, Let God method of decision making take over, but part of me feels like I already know the answer but I am ignoring it.
I am scared. I am hesitant. I am nervous. I am overwhelmed.
I am lost.